Imagine if Let’s Plays where extended to hours on end. And remove the mediocre commentary of that Let’s Play to make it extremely boring, long, and a redundant piece of human resource. The result of all of that catastrophe, will be a typical example of a longplay. Now, take all of the steps and instate them on a bunch of games. And that’s what World of Longplays does.
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Contents
How This Shit Works
The cubex55 channel was started by a Dutchman named Hipoonios and a fellow longplayer who called himself Ironclaw. Both men started the original site called Recorded Amiga Games in 2005. In 2006, the cubex55 channel was born to host the recorded longplays on YouTube. However, the two intrepid men started to realize that nobody outside of Europe gives a shit about the Amiga system. So, to get more viewers, they decided to start their World of Longplays site in 2008 to bring in other longplays from systems people know about.
However, after two years, like all Dutch do after smoking many joints in the coffee shop, Hipoonios decided to give away his site to a German longplayer who called himself, SCHLAUCHI. This would end up creating many lulz.
Seig Heil SCHLAUCHI
The site was now under the ownership of SCHLAUCHI ((Powerword: Gerhard Weihrauch)). Like every enterprising German, Gerhard had no knowledge of how to fix a website or work on any form of website at all. However, he knew the best way to acquire jewgolds from YouTube. As such, Gerhard took the entire site into his hands to acquire a fanbase of people who were too lazy to play the games themselves.
All the while, he maintained the World of Longplays site, which was becoming outdated and full of holes due to the fact that he was unable (or unwilling) to acquire an actual programmer to fix his site. So, you ask. Where did the money that fair Gerhard use go towards?
Generic Shitty 3rd Person Shooter!
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This is SCHLAUCHI’s version of the next big thing in video games!
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The Jewgolds Heist!
With the site in his hands and control of the channel in his grasp, Gerhard was geared to move forward with his plan to acquire jewgolds. The reasoning given: longplaying is serious business. Our favorite German, with his video game attempt, had lost money and credibility within the gaming community due to how overrated the game actually was. With no money and no prospect for jobs, Gerhard and his group decided to come up with a plan to acquire money from YouTube. Like others who have followed the same plan.
The group devised a plan that the top longplayers of the group would get the money acquired from the revenue created by ads generated every time one of their fans accessed a video. The hope by the group is to acquire enough money from everyone viewing the videos so that nobody in the group would have to work ever again. Yet, there was a huge snag.
Hipoonios Returns
It seems not all was agreed to in World of Longplays land. As Hipoonios, in name, still had ownership of the site and of the YouTube channel, he also raised the biggest objections to the monetization of his YouTube channel. Like all good attention whores, Hipoonios decided to hack the World of Longplays site and YouTube channel to erase all videos. However, the group was wise to his methods and proceeded to change the YouTube password.
With all resources exhausted, Hipoonios went to the next best method in getting his former channel shut down, DMCA. The channel was shut down for a matter of a week. To which, the Longplay group scrambled to suck much YouTube cock to get their channel back online. The next month was spent reuploading videos or taking down videos from the longplayers who decided to abandon ship.
As this process was happening, the top longplayers of the site decided to get together on how to divide their ill gained YouTube money. The solution they came up with: The players with the most videos would get the money from the advertisements! The problem is, the top user was ol’ Gerhard himself. However, they needed Hipoonios to go on board with the plan. Instead, the Dutchman used his powers of evil and hacked the site and forums. Many lulz were had as he trolled every admin on the site as they tried to explain the plan.
After two weeks of trolling, Hipoonios gave up and advised the group that his videos were to be removed, and he would claim them for his new site. With that in mind, Gerhard went forth to gain his money. Hipoonios, though, decided to kill his sites with a message.
The Aftermath
The Premise
The World of Longplays consist of various people around the world who play games from all systems. Of course, keep in mind you have to be close to an amateur filmmaker to live up to their high standards of having acceptable film quality for their site and YouTube videos. In other words, HD or bust, retard.
Because everyone on the World of Longplays is a complete and utter herp derp, all of the games are emulated. Mainly because can you really trust a Nazi with cords? Let’s also mention that other longplayers aren’t truly allowed out of their house without supervision.
On the plus side, this provides the ability of said longplayer to use manipulation and save states to provide the perfect game. With all things, you’ll get a few purists who get pissy in the comments over the videos because they consider the usage of save states as cheating.
